I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
