He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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