life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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