there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
