jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
