Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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