We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
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i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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