Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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