Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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