I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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