HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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