i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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