I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
