We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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