I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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