But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I believe in your delicious
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
