I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
