i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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