I wish I could punch you in the face.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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