OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
