Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
