At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
