I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
MIDGETS
????
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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