omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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