porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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