I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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