his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
