I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
