Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
