i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My boob is missing a layer of skin
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
