idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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