soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
