I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize