In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
