New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize