WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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