so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
