I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
