What a fucking waste of an outfit
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I need to stop coming to work sober
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
