Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
