You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
