Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
it glows. i had to have it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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