In the future we'll all be gay
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize