R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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