Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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