kristin has been a bad kristin
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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