i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.