I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
