I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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