i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I will be naked everywhere
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.