I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
this just has baby written all over it
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
