dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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