You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize