i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She's the barista slut.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
