I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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