so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
