We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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