i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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