I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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