i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize