He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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