is your mom at the bar?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The struggles of a small town man whore
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
