Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
