I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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