Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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