I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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