I'm really into asian looking animals
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
