so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
