My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
