kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
