Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
